Ben Mallicote writes about
faith and politics at the group blog BenMallicote.com. His newest piece
is written in condemnation of the phrase: “Love the sinner, hate the
sin.” I dislike the phrase, as well (it comes from one of Augustine’s
letters, not from the Bible); however, I strongly disagree with his post.
1. Ben misunderstands hate.
I
assume that he was motivated to write this article to address the hate he sees
in the world. I wish he had given it some context, because it’s been my
experience that people use that phrase, “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” in
order to take sin less seriously, not in order to give freer rein to
hate. Unfortunately, Ben did not define what he means by hate. He
does assert that those with whom we have relationships (children, friends) are
ineligible recipients of our hate. So from the outset, he conflates
“hating the sin” and “hating the sinner” without offering any justification for
doing so. I would wager that’s the point where he loses his argument with
the people who are enamored of the phrase. Then he writes that since we
are categorically incapable of hating our children, we should also refrain from
hating people groups such as gays or Muslims. (I don’t see the thought
progression, there.) Then he abruptly switches to talking about love.
The problem Ben has is that he’s using a worldly
definition of hate in which hate appears to be the opposite of love. But this cannot be. God is love.
Yet God hates (Psalm 5:4-6; 11:5; Romans 9:13). He hates
things like lying (Proverbs 12:22), idolatry (Deuteronomy 7:25), and arrogance
(Proverbs 16:6-9). He also hates people
such as idolaters, evildoers, and lovers of violence. (Psalm 5:4-6, 11:5) So then, what can the Christian know of hate? Hate is an emotion, and it is not sinful.
It is a God-given emotion. There is a
time to hate (Ecclesiastes 3:8). Hate is
an emotional opposing and a standing against something or someone (Psalm 26:5).
Thus we are called to hate the enemies
of God (Psalm 139:21). It can be easily
misused, and when we direct it wrongly, we do sin. We ought not hate simply because we don’t like
someone’s actions. Hate is rightfully
directed against the unholy actions of those who stand against God. It is also directed against the unbeliever
himself because the unbeliever stands against God, and that stand is disastrous for
the unbeliever. I agree with Ben that
it’s hard to separate the sin and the sinner; apart from Christ, the two are
inescapably connected. In hell God won’t
be punishing sin; He’ll be punishing sinners. Jesus reminds us of the dire state of the
unbeliever when he tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who
persecute us (Matthew 5:43-44). Hatred
of the enemies of God does not rule out love.
It does not rule out pity. It
does not rule out prayer. We are
emotionally opposed to those who stand against God, but we are also desirous of
seeing them switch sides and come to faith in Jesus Christ. We are against the promotion of sin, but that
does not mean we are against repentance unto life.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I’ll be marching in a
parade with a sign that says, “God hates (fill in the blank with pet peeve).” The people at Westboro Baptist Church
misunderstand hate, too. They use the
world’s idea of hate and impute it to God. They seek to belittle, curse, demean, and
vilify others. That is not Biblical. Our speech is still always to be seasoned with
grace. We cannot condone or excuse sin,
but that does not mean our language should be unkind.
I need to point out that we ARE capable of hating
those with whom we have a close relationship, such as our children. People practice the worldly definition of hate
on close family members all the time. Just think of the neglected children or the
spousal abuse. Most crimes are committed
against people the criminals know, and those could all be called hate crimes
because love never motivates violent crimes. Turning back to the Biblical definition of
hate, we see that people are capable of hating their children in that
worldview, too. Proverbs 13:24 states, “Whoever spares the rod, hates
their children.” From this, we
understand that failing to discipline our children is being hateful to
them. It is standing against them
because it fails to drive the folly from them. Or, in other words, failing to hate the sins
of your children leads to hating your children.
2. Ben misunderstands love.
In this article he writes, “love
from a distance, love in the abstract, love without being in relationship with
those we claim to love is no love at all. It is love in theory only, or
self-righteousness masquerading as love.” But in a previous blog post, Ben tells us that
love is the absolute core of Christ’s teaching, and he concludes, “If your
reading of Scripture allows you to be unconcerned about the Syrian refugee,
you’ve enshrined your own prejudices over God’s law.” So, in one case, love of distant strangers is
self-righteousness masquerading as love, but when it comes to Syrians, love
from a distance without relationship is obedience to the law of love. His definition seems a bit malleable. .
For the record, I am closer to agreeing with the
current article, not the previous one; you can’t show love to a distant person
you’ve never met. How can I be patient and kind to someone I do not know
or see or who is not near?
At least as regards children,
Ben says love is “pray[ing] that God would give them the deepest desires of
their hearts, that God would prosper them and make their lives happy.”
This definition of love seems to come more from the American dream than
the Bible. Ben seems to have forgotten
that Jesus does not pray for us in such a manner. In fact, Jesus teaches us to pray, “Your
kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10). This is
not praying for the realization of our deepest desires or the satisfaction of
our wills; this is praying for the accomplishment of God’s will. In John 17, Jesus prays for us, but never for
our deepest desires, nor for our prosperity. Rather he prays, “Sanctify them in the truth,
your word is truth,” (John 17:17). He then
goes on to pray for unity amongst the brethren and for their unity with
Himself, but never for prosperity or happiness. In fact, Jesus states that the world hates
believers (v.14), and then he asks God to leave us in this world that hates us
(v.15). That was how Jesus prayed for
his disciples, his spiritual children and friends. And it was love that motivated him to pray
such prayers. I don’t ask God to give my
children prosperity and happiness; I pray that God will save their souls and
conform them to the likeness of His Son. I pray that God will make the deepest desire
of their hearts be to know and to love God.
The central proof text for this article is taken
from the account in John about the woman caught in adultery. Ben points out that Christ didn’t rebuke her
sin until after he had publicly defended her and granted her mercy and after
her accusers had left the two alone. Ben
asserts that our encounters with sinful people should also follow this pattern.
What about the time Jesus made the rich
young ruler go away sad? Mark 10:21 tells
us that, out of love, Jesus brought that man to sadness by openly and publicly
exposing his covetousness. Verse 23 makes it clear that conversation occurred
in front of at least his disciples. Or
what of Matthew 23 where Jesus, speaking “to the crowds and to his disciples,”
began to pronounce seven woes on the Pharisees? He openly called them hypocrites, a brood of
vipers, and white washed tombs. There
was no public support, mercy, or private rebuke there. Even the Sermon on the Mount is a public
correction (Matthew 5-7). Take note of
the phraseology: “It was said . . . but I say to you….” Take note of all the warnings on how not to
pray or how not to practice righteousness in front of others. Jesus reminds his listeners, “Unless your
righteousness does not exceed that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you will never
enter the kingdom of heaven.” And then,
of course, there is the very public, very zealous, very merciless overthrowing
of the money tables and the expulsion of the corrupt moneychangers from the
temple.
Ben also references how Christ washed the feet of
his betrayer, using that incident as a model for how we should always treat our
enemies. But that isn’t the whole of
Jesus’ interactions with Judas. Jesus
also labelled him a devil in front of the other disciples (John 6:70), and
there was neither mercy nor forgiveness nor brotherhood for Judas in the end. When we pick one or two incidents from
Christ’s life and say this is how to love, we get a stunted understanding of
love. If we’re looking for the Biblical
definition of love, we must interpret the Bible using the whole Bible, not
using cherry-picked bits that support our own definition.
Additionally, Ben says love must be “demonstrate[d]
in a way [fellow sinners] feel and understand; and it requires us to treat them
not as the ‘other,’ but as beloved brothers and sisters.” Truly we are to show love to our enemies and
to everyone as God makes the rain fall upon the just and the unjust. As I’ve mentioned, this love includes pity,
prayer, and patience. But loving someone
as a brother and sister in Christ is reserved for actual believers in Christ. The only people groups Ben mentions in his
post are "gays", who may claim to be Christians, and Muslims, who by definition
are not. It seems that he thinks we
ought to make homosexuals feel totally accepted before we ever mention
repentance and forgiveness. But it is
definitely not loving to let someone remain in a state of sin that will result
in eternal damnation (Revelation 22:15, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:19-21,
Ephesians 5:5). It seems that Ben thinks
we should treat Muslims as those who are going to heaven despite their belief
that God has no son (1 John 2:23, John 17:3). Again, it is a denial of reality to treat
Muslims as beloved brothers and sisters when they are not.
I wonder what Ben would say if his example were
changed to a people group whose sin he doesn’t dispute. What if we were talking about slave holders? In Ben’s view of love and hate, he advocates
first publicly defending the slave holder, speaking out against anyone who
would dare call the slave holder a sinner, and then, only after demonstrating
love in a way the slaver can feel and understand and treating him as a brother
would Ben dare to privately point out the abomination that owning another human
being truly is. Does that seem right to
you?
3. Conclusion
For Ben, love seems to be some sort of
unconditional acceptance, maybe even support, of all things. But I can tell you this is wrong. Love does not mean the acceptance of
everything. I love my children, but I
hate it when they fight with one another. I hate it when they are selfish. I want them to hate it in themselves, too, so
they can “mortify the deeds of their flesh.” After all, I hate sin in myself and seek to
put it to death (Romans 8:13, Colossians 3:5). It does not mean I do not love my kids, nor do
I dislike them. In fact, it is unloving
for me to accept such sin in my kids or in myself. It is indeed love that leads to an unbroken
relationship with my children, forgiveness when they sin, and it is love that
prompts and empowers my children, and myself, to change and put off the sinful
old man and put on the new.
This different view of love and hate leads to a
different view on life. I can love the
people groups Ben mentions (Muslims and gays) by treating them as people made
in the image of God, showing respect, granting charity, mercy, and kindness. But, love also brings with it the biblical
hate or standing against. I cannot
accept those things that are sin, for the person’s own good. I must share the
gospel of grace because they stand in need of it. I cannot be close or intimate with them
because two cannot walk together lest they be agreed (Amos 3:3). What fellowship does light have with darkness
or Christ with Belial (or, in this case, with Mohommed)? The answer is:
none (2 Corinthians 6:14). Christian
love cannot approve of that which God has not approved. And this Christian love changes the world. It is Christian “hate” that has chased out (or
nearly out) of the world such things as slavery, human sacrifices, and bigamy.
I deviate greatly, not only from Ben, but from the
“love the sinner, hate the sin” phraseology. It reinterprets the gospel by lessening sin. God is not just displeased with what you do,
but with you! With me! What should strike us about our sins is not
how awful they are, but that we’re the kind of people that do such awful
things. I don’t need my actions changed;
I need my heart changed. “And rend your
hearts and not your garments, and turn to the Lord your God: for he is gracious
and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness,” (Joel 2:13). If the problem were only my
sin, then tearing my garments might be enough.
But the problem is I am a sinner, so my heart is what needs to be torn
apart and built anew by the power of the Spirit. This is the beauty of the gospel. We are reconciled to God in Christ. While we are children of the world and sons of
disobedience, God must stand opposed to (hate) us and our sin. But He sent His Son to die for our sins AND to
change our sinful nature (redeeming the sin and the sinner), so that we might
be received into fellowship with Him. No
longer opposed, we are reconciled to God through the blood of Christ. No longer are we enemies, but instead we are
citizens of the kingdom and sons of the King, eating forever at His table. It is this love that we must show, the divine
love that reconciles through changing the sinner and paying for the sin. Everything else is just whistling in the wind.
Disclaimer: I know Ben. We attended school together until college.
